fini.

Just stumbled upon this in my drafts..

[Never did I think a tiny, forgotten nation would captivate my heart such as Haiti did.
It's the people, it's the sound of the goats in the morning while we are getting ready for the day, it's the smell of burning trash as we're driving through market day in a canter, it's how I see God in every bright smile and childs laugh.

Captivated. But oh so freeing at the same time.
As my time in Haiti comes to an end, I realize more and more that I have the opprotunity to have a new beginning in New Mexico]

I have been home from Haiti for almost a month and honestly I need to get back. The first three weeks here in New Mexico have been nice, catching up with family and friends and of course the food. But I feel like I haven't fully returned. My body has but my heart was left in all the villages I went to and with all my Haitian family I have now. 

 

I always look back to those moments in Haiti where God left me in complete wonder of His goodness. His divine intervention. Standing in the middle of a village with sweat dripping off your face, chatting with a Haitian about how they came to know Christ and how we can pray for them. Their answer was typically always "help me stay content in Christ or pray for healing in my family". Someone asked me what they typically complain about over there and it took me a minute because I honestly can't think of a complaint I heard. 

Through it all they worship, their bright smiles radiate Christ more than anyone I have ever encountered.

Through it all they stay content in The Lord.

I've found that parts of the U.S can suck the life out of you. It gets very difficult for me to read my Bible. I feel partly like my joy is vanishing. But that is not how God set me up. His joy is constant and always present. I miss the beautiful simplicity of my island home. Sleeping with a handheld fan right next to my face every night with the sound of mosquitos buzzing around in my ear, the 6:45 am meetings with my intern family. 

When I catch myself talking about Haiti in past tense now it has a bitter after taste. "Haiti was amazing" "God moved so much". 

I can't help but get excited though when I think of all God has left to do in me. Where will I end up? What country will I visit next? How else can He grow and stretch me? 

I fully believe that God gave me this heart for missions and heart to serve people. 

Bondye se Bon, pou toutan. 

God is good, forever. 

Refilled.

Romans 4:8

"Blessed is the one whose sin the Lord will never count against them."

I am blessed that the Lord knows my sin and shame but doesn't hold that against me.  He loves me still, He invests in my life, knowing that my past would mend together with the present leading me to where I am at.  The sheet of my sin is destroyed.  I am made whole.  A new creation handcrafted by God.  He fulfilled His promise.  I would recieve joy.  I would raise my arms and abandon my heart for the one who saves.  The answer is Jesus.  Always Jesus.  With Him comes perfect peace and an understanding of why things play out the way they do.  He is quick to love and slow to speak.  

Almost 9 weeks in on this journey and soon to be 3 weeks left. 
The joy of the Lord is the light to my path.
Never have I ever been more joyful or so content than being here.
I'm so unworthy, but He chose me. 
He kept His promise that I would come back to Haiti.

I ask that you would pray for me for the last few weeks of my time here, for the teams I am going to get and my fellow interns. That when I transition back to America I wouldn't be an emotional mess, that I would be able to bring glory to God and His nation of Haiti.  

Thank you friends! I'll see you soon!